Back in Black (but no collar, please)!

Apparently an oversight board of evangelical ministers that has investigated/counseled the Rev. Ted Haggard, ex-President of the National Association of Evangelicals, during his recent scandal, have come to the conclusion that he is a heterosexual.

I'm not sure why this conclusion is important, since the board also determined that he should 1) leave town (and by town, they mean state), and 2) find secular work. But I guess its an important determination to them nonetheless.

When discussing the conclusion he reached, the evangelical minister who announced the conclusion to the Denver Post stated:

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

I guess, according to Rev. Ralph and the evangelical oversight board, one can only truly find out they are heterosexual by repeatedly paying a male prostitute for drug-fueled gay sex.

I think I'd rather live with uncertainty.

Flying Spaghetti Monster, but I love these people...